Monday, 31 March 2008

Last night the devil put his hands on my shoulders

Late lastnight I began to feel VERY nauseous. I tried to drink water to subdue it but it barely helped. I got into bed and tried to ignore it and get to sleep. But It only got worse,
I became hot and was finding it hard to breath so I opened the window. Soon after that I became cold and bizarrely I started to sweet profusely and the feeling of nausea grew stronger still. I got out of bed and felt shaky, I couldn't stop knocking stuff over and had to hold on to things keep myself balanced. I have no idea what was wrong with me but the only thing I could relate the feeling to was being dazed and lacking in salt. So I made some tea accompanied by peanut butter on toast. After a few bites I could feel myself getting better, I stopped shaking and the feeling of nausea subsided. I managed to get to sleep after that and I feel relatively fine now, isn't that really bizarre!?
I'm putting it down to "other worldly going-ons" as have never known or heard of anything like it, hopefully it won't happen again as I found it quite scary to be honest.

Last night the devil put his hands on my shoulders,
but Peanut butter and Tea saved my life!



(Disclaimer: Peanut Butter and Tea are not proven medical cures for any known ailments and should be consumed as part of a healthy balanced diet and will not save everybody's lives or turn them into a Super Hero)

- Mr. Devo


Tuesday, 25 March 2008

If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

On December the 31st 2007 I made a resolution, but it wasn't a typical resolution, you know how those go:

"I won't eat chocolate on weekdays"

"I will go to the gym at least three days a week"

"I must not swear"

It was nothing like that at all, at the end of last year I made the resolution to live by the following statement;

If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

So far it has worked wonders for me and this year Ive found myself achieving alot more in alot less time. Things like leaving taking out the recycling 'til later or putting off a piece of work until "I can be bothered" are almost a thing of the past. But yesterday, I did something that if im brutally honest made me really dislike myself a little bit.

On Sunday a close friend was admitted to hospital after collapsing whilst getting ready to go to work, so naturally I went to visit him the next day. When I arrived at the hospital there were absolutely NO staff, atleast no visible members of staff to be seen, not even a receptionist! As I walked through the hospital trying to locate my friend's ward and room I only saw patients and relatives.

I understand it was a bank holiday but unless accidents, illnesses, injuries and diseases have started paying attention to calendars, hospitals dont have days off. Now Im not slating the emergency services or the crucial work that they do but I was shocked to say the least, even more so as I stood infront of a map in the middle of the hospital trying to work out where to venture off to in search of my friend. Whilst reading the map I vaguely heard - or at the time, initially thought, I'd heard a voice saying;
but I put it down to background noise and didn't pay much attention as I continued to study the map, then once again I heard the same voice;
It was now clearly somebody, a patient, asking for assitance, I looked around and still there were no visible members of staff so I walked up the corridor abit to see if there were any about, but nothing. I noticed the calls were coming from the male public bathrooms, but I wasn't about to walk in and find out what the problem was "I'm not prepared to deal with what ever that might be, what could I do to help?" is what I told myself. So I walked back to the map, found out where to go and walked away, leaving that person to face whatever predicament they may be in, alone.

I didn't think too much of it after that, I saw my friend and laughed about "other stuff" and told him to rest up and focus on getting better. But as I embarked on the long, icey-cold walk home I remebered walking away from that person aking for help. I tried to justify my actions by assuming it couldn't have been "that bad" if the person wasn't screaming and was coherent enough to call out for assistance, but that doesn't make what I did acceptable.
What happened to "If not you, then who? If not now, then when?"
If not me, assisting that person in whatever way I possibley could, then who? Seeing as there were no staff in ear shot of their calls for help.
If I don't take action, and I didn't, how long did that person have to wait for someone who was willing to?

It made me sick to my stomach and lastnight I made another resolution:
  • I will not walk away again, I will take action - even if it's making sure I find someone who is equipped to assist in a way that I can not.

My resolution is useless, null and void if I am the only person who benefits from it.

- Mr. Devo


Tuesday, 18 March 2008

One of us - Kaya Bousquet

I'm not about to recap for any body who doesn't know the full story, I just wanted to dedicate a section of my space to a fellow professional who's drive and tenacity I admired and respected.

Last Friday the 14th I joined hundreds of mourners at Kaya's funeral. It was such a tough thing to witness, but I could not miss paying my respects.
Although we had alot of mutual friends it would be inaccurate to describe me and Kaya as friends, I came to know her as part of the scene when I was up and coming in my career, before she was the successful lady she became. She was an "it" girl, everybody knew her, everybody was drawn to her - friends and foes alike. For me Kaya's passing was the death of an icon of those times and it was a shock to say the least. It was amazing to see so many people that were part of that scene there also to pay their respects, but such a shame the circumstances that brought us together once again.

The send off was beautiful:

At the church (the same church Kaya was baptised and confirmed in) tributes were paid by her godfather and siblings, Daniel Bedingfield sang Stevie Wonder's "Have a talk with god" accompanied by Kaya's father Lawrence who was a tower of strength, dressed in all white and reminded us all of the joy, inspiration and pride Kaya brought to his life and to the lives of all who knew her.

At the cemetery, the cars were led by a fleet of super-powered, customised motorcycles belonging to the Alpha Bikers flanking either side of the funeral precession.

Once we arrived people tearfully sang songs of love and joy, covered her coffin with flowers and to cap it off two doves were released to symbolise her journey on to a better place.

At the reception, plenty of soul food was served and all had a chance to sign the book of condolence, catch up and reminisce. Her father, stood next to a digital display showing various pictures of Kaya and family throughout her life, gave a speech thanking people for showing in their hundreds to pay respects and he once again paid tribute to his beautiful baby girl. I took the opportunity afterwards, just before I left, to thank Lawrence for sharing her with us and for being so strong and a huge inspiration during such a heart wrenching, tumultuous time for him and his family.

Rest in peace Kaya.

Gone, but certainly not forgotten.


- Mr Devo.


Monday, 10 March 2008

Woah Nelly!!!?!? - High Winds, not the weather for an umbrella really, is it?

What glorious weather in the UK today!

I haven't heard the wind blow that hard since the freak tornado in London hit my neighbourhood in December!!!

Driving rain, high tides and winds speeds in excess of 80 mph have wreaked havoc in Britain today and are set to continue through most of this week, causing road closures, aeroplane cancellations, train delays and general damage to property but......

I just wanted to make this post to pose a thought that occurred to me on my way to the underground this morning.

Who are the REAL sufferers of our increasingly frequent freak weather conditions?!?


This bin was filled to the brim with umbrella carcases

These poor folk were simply dis guarded by their owners for not being tough enough to hold up in the storm, but up against 80 mph winds they didn't stand a chance.
Where do umbrellas go when it's their time to depart this cruel, harsh world?

I think somebody ought to start a charity or some sort of fund, surely a regular street dustbin is no place for a trusty companion who protects and serves with the utmost loyalty until its dying day???

- Mr. Devo

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Confession booth - You really don't need to read this, its very "monologue"

You know those Catholic style confession booths???

I've always wanted to go into one of those and pour out my sins, but I wouldn't know where to start as the lines between sin and safe are all too often, so very thin these days. I have alot of nothingness on my mind at the moment, but I feel as though there is so much to say. On top of that, im constantly aware of the huge list of "would like to-do's" piling up somewhere in the attic of my grey matter space.
As with my "sins" where do I start?

This is probably the most disjointed I've felt for quite sometime and I can't place a finger on the particular place that feels awkward but I know there's an awkwardness in here somewhere. I would consider myself quite an independent soul, self sufficient and so on, but as much as I don't have a reliance on any other person or thing per say, I often feel the absence of any real support from those around me. There's that difference between needing and not wanting and wanting but not needing, the latter describing my predicament quite accurately.
I think It's part of my life's journey to sacrifice alot of myself for the good of other's causes and it's something I pride myself on, but I'll be honest, it hurts a little when it's not reciprocated.
Ofcourse there are some exceptions and those rare elements in my life that although they're not directly supportive; the joy, comfort, pleasure, inspiration and/or calm that they bring can make you forget the absence of anything, like forgetting to breath, it's unexpected but reminds you you're alive in it's action.

Those people, those things make "all seem well" and gently place my rose tinted glasses back onto my face.

I'll stop now, for now.
But in case I forget, please remind me of this sentence:

"I must do more to do my self justice, I must."

- Mr. Devo