Thursday, 26 February 2009

Push - Quite possibley THEE worst film I have not paid to see in the cinema!!!

With all the millions that are spent on "Mainstream" Films these days it's hard to imagine how or why anyone would allow a film studio to put out a complete and utter TURKEY. But Summit Entertainment have really pushed (excuse the pun) the barrel out on this one.

Push (2009) is awful from start to finish;
let me tell you how and why.

The synopsis
In a world where people have "powers/abilities" an organisation called "The Division" has set out to round up these special individuals to test a drug that boosts their powers, so that they can create an army. Sound familiar?


and erm....Heroes

As a fan of Heroes, I was horrified when I heard about this film, of course the idea isn’t "original" as most ideas are rarely ever entirely original. But this film is the equivalent of somebody making a film version of Family Guy and calling it "At Home Man". It's EXACTLY the same, it doesn't even attempt to develop the concept of Heroes; it simply flaps about performing a cheap, loosely choreographed imitation routine. I was almost embarrassed for the Film Producers and Actors as I sat through it; some of which have seen MUCH better days; Djimon Hounsou in Blood Diamond, Chris Evans in Fantastic Four and Summit Entertainment (The Producers) who recently also made the surprising hilarious and touching "Sex Drive".
To save your curiosity I will tell you the entire story (below) so if you decide to read it, you will at least have only wasted 5 minutes of your life and not 111.

>>Push Storyline - Spoiler alert<<

The film opens with some guy running away with his son from some Agency, known only as "The Division" in the film. They run into a motel room and the man tells his son that one day he will meet some girl who will give him a flower and warns him that he must help her to "help us all" (No, Im not making this crap up) and then "Moves" his son out of the room as "The Division" close in on him. He makes a final stand - and dies - as his son on watches from another room. Fast forward in the boy's timeline - The boy is now a man and has repatriated to China, where he is a bum and a local gambler. He tries to use his "Mover" power to cheat but isn't good enough to do it effectively so he ends up owing a lot of money.
Enter "The Division"....
....Oh f*ck this!

I seriously can't re-live this crap in my mind again, not even for my beloved

What you need to know:
Movers - Have the power to move things with their hands
Pushers - Can Push thoughts into your head.
Watchers - Can see the future and people's intentions
Sniffers - Can smell any object and see it's recent history and track it down wherever it is.
Shadows - Have the power to Black/Mask the abilities of Watchers and Sniffers, provided they are within 20 ft. of the person/object being Watched/Sniffed
Stitches - Can heal or damage the body by touching it.

The main characters Cassie and Nick (played by Dakota Fanning and Chris Evans, epitomise the ridiculous nature of this film.
Cassie is a 13 year old "Watcher", with alcoholic tendencies and Nick is a "Mover" who can apparently stop bullets with his hands but somehow manages to spend much of the movie getting pummelled with fists like a punch bag.

It's truly pathetic.Oh and there's a "plot twist"

>>Push Storyline - Spoiler alert<<

The hero's love interest - "Pusher" Kira (played by Camille Belle) who escaped the clutches of "The Division" whilst being tested with the ability boosting drug - is supposedly a Division agent who agreed to take part in the drug trial but forgot and panicked because of the drug's side-effects (another of the side-effects being death) but in a surprising "double-twist" that belief was apparently "Pushed" into her head by Head Division agent Henry Carver played by Djimon Hounsou.

A revelation which only comes to light at the film's conclusion when Kira opens a letter Nick had given her earlier in the film with the instructions "Only open it when you start telling the truth!"

Sat on a plane with Henry Carver (who's conveniently sleeping) after watching Nick fake his death by injecting soy sauce into his arm (I'm REALLY not making this up) - she found enclosed a picture of her and Nick years previously on their first date - proof that Carver had manipulated her. She then follows Nick's instructions contained in the letter "Kill him" so she "Pushes" suicidal thoughts into Carver's head (whilst he's asleep) to which he does the only natural thing; he wakes up and puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger - depressurizing the air cabin and destroying the plane, killing Kira in the process - Ok, I made that last bit up about depressurizing the cabin, but it should have happened. It would’ve been the most believable part of the film’s convoluted, contrived yet ironically under cooked "plot".

Even the actors admitted not knowing what was going at times. Camille Belle (Kira) was quoted in a recent interview saying, "I remember a few moments where we all sat down and said, 'What happens? Where are we supposed to be going now?'" is she for real? Camille then conceeded, "The plot itself is very confusing," and when referring the the ending, "We still don't understand exactly what happened." Whilst co star Djimon Hounsou (Agent Carver) charmingly stated,"You do have to surrender,at that point it's all hell for the director. You can't keep up with where you are at all times. As an actor, you become too analytical about the story."
Did he just say that he had doubts about the integrity of the film's sense but played dumb because the director was going through hell?

What a mess! Agent, scripting and directorial head's need to be rolling.

If I haven't put you off, good luck to you, I hope you've got 111 minutes to waste. If given a second chance I wouldn't watch this on pirate or on Boxing Day in 2014; I wouldn't even watch the trailer!

My Verdict
Shudderingly abysmal.

- Mr. Devo

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Monday, 23 February 2009

The Age of "Button Bashin" and control pad dashing is once again upon us!
Street Fighter returns and this's IV

Last week saw the long awaited return of Street Fighter IV - The arcade gamers game of choice for much of the 90's.

When I heard in early '08 that production had begun on a new SF title I tingled with excitement. As an 80s baby I grew up on SF style "Beat'em ups" and "Coin up" games and since entering the Next-Generation Console world I have found myself complaining all too often that "they don't make them like they use to."

See below video for History of Street Fighter:

Considering how excited I was at the prospect of a new Street Fighter, I didn't exactly rush out to buy it; maybe I'm getting old. =)Seems like only yesterday when releases of such epic proportions would have seen me queueing up hours in advance. But after purchasing my copy, I managed to find myself a couple of hours on Sunday morning and within 10 minutes - true to form - I'd thrown my control pad for the first time in over 10 years; purely by reflex!

My verdict on Street Fighter IV?


I love it, I was whooping, grunting and cheering like 9 year old me, almost two decades ago, button-bashing like a champion! The sound effects are spot on "Haddddoken" and the original SF Characters are all there with a slight comic-book style make over. If you ever enjoyed the original SF series and like me have since pined for some classic style gaming on a Next-Gen console; go out and grab a copy NOW!!!

Seriously, why are you still reading this?! Get out and purchase yourself a copy of Street Fight IV and get ready for some vintage arcade style ass whooping.

Oh and finally, because this NEVER gets a mention for some unknown reason, Street Fighter EX plus Alpha:

If any of you know why there's effectively a media black out on this title, please let me know.

Capcom, I salute you.

- Mr. Devo

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Thursday, 12 February 2009

Problem with my Blackberry Bold solved!

Happy Thursday people,

As I promised here is a helpful blog for any Blackberry users who have had this issue.

I recently noticed that my Bold wouldn't scroll down, presuming some dirt had got under the ball I pushed the ball down and blew on it. This seemed to fix the problem (temporarily)
Although I was worried that the moisture in my breath may have been what was actually "fixing" the problem, which obviously couldnt be good for my Bold in the long run so I decided to disassemble it when the problem began to occur more and more frequently.

I disassembled the Bold with little trouble
(Its quite straight forward)


Inside the Blackberry Bold you will find torx head screws (6pin/Hexagonal), but don't worry, you can use flat head screw drivers to open them. (As pictured)

**WARNING** Something that I haven't seen mentioned in any disassembly tutorials.
- The screw in the middle, on the right (with Bold back facing you) has a white seal over it, I assume breaking it kills your warranty so be ware.

>--Back to story--<

I removed the track ball casing (not the track ball itself ) and cleaned it using traditionally recommended methods (compressed air, alcohol etc.) and then reinstalled it.
- I also wiped the sensors on the Bold (Just incase) Powered my Bold back up, but nothing, it still didn't work. I then tried using the track ball and housing from my 8800, but that had the same problem; it scrolled Up, Left, Right, but not down!

I opened up my Bold one last time and discovered that I'd place the track ball housing the wrong way as the only tutorial I could find was for an older blackberry and I guess RIM have made some changes, or the tutorial was wrong. Either way, I rotated it and put it in correctly, my track ball now scrolls in all directions.

The Bold open with Track Ball housing removed.

When you open the Bold you will see a metal retainer over the track ball housing, this is kept in place by four tabs (two at the top and two at the bottom).

I used one of the small flat head screw drivers to gentley ease the metal retainer clips up enough to remove it. Be very careful as it's made from a very weak metal and the plastic that it sits on is also easily damaged so I must stress; be gentle and patiently ease this off.

I used tweezers to handle the track ball.

The track ball housing needs to sit securely in the spaces highlighted in the pic below.

Also see below the links I used to help me fumble my way through the first time:
(Warning the image and description in the "Re-insert trackball" section is what mislead me in the first place; the tutorial on this link is for an older Blackberry. For the Bold, the tabs should be vertical, not horizontal)
Contains screen shots and description of the Bold disassembled.

I hope others find this helpful.

- Mr. Devo

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Thursday, 5 February 2009

NO WAY!!!!

Ok, I know I promised a return to "more serious" posts but I just saw this and I could not stop myself from sharing. I know this is old but it's new to me and it had me in stitches!

Person advertises Nazi Doll collection on Craig's List.
my little nazi dolls (pics)

A couple of the comments from the listing which had me laughing out loud:

"here's a bunch of guys in a cardboard box before i hide them - i have to hide them when my family comes to visit, or else they'll think i am retarded.

i really like my action figures, but i face a lot of prejudice from people -- i bring gay guys home from bars and then they see my doll collection and they don't like me any more."

"here's Marius the SS officer and Fritz the panzer cadet.
they are gay.
a lot of people in the 'action figure community' are mean to me because some of my dolls are gay.
i have around 65 action figures, but only 5 or 6 are gay.
but meanwhile, the people in this hobby act like all my guys are gay.
they are mean to me."

Ha hah ha ha bwah ha ha ha!!!
No way!

Happy Thursday all!

- Mr. Devo

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Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Lightning, Cows and Bacon.

Happy Wednesday,

I've been having a lot of epiphanies lately, although I keep forgetting to write them down. I promise, the next one I have I will record and share with you all!
That said, I was wondering - does anybody else get the sense of achievement I do when writing a text message and using all the characters for one page precisely?
ie. Typing a reply, with correct spellings and punctuation and ending on a full stop with the last character.
Anybody? No? Just me then I guess.
(Small things make me smile) like this puppy:

On a blog that I follow one of the contributors has vowed to live off NOTHING but "American Bacon" for the whole month of february! Yeah, seriously. I'm actually chuckling to myself thinking about it as I'm typing this. Here's a quote from his pledge:
I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon. Why? Because bacon is nature’s finest and most nourishing food.

His wife even managed to find him bacon in a jar for snacks.

Good luck to you Mike!
This is one train wreck I will definitely keep an eye on.

As we're on the subject of farm animals....
I found this in my email inbox yesterday:

Erm, OUCH! Apparently this poor cow, was struck by lightning at a property near Gladstone last month and survived! Impossible you may think, but not according to JCU Professor of Geo-Sciences, Jon Nott:

"Cows are susceptible to lightning strikes because of both sets of legs being on the ground, and they're eating grass from where electricity is conducted from the strike so it is possible it happened but, more often than not, cows die from it. The electricity would enter the front set of legs and exit out the back legs so, again, based on the picture, it is possible it happened."

That is just incrazy! A burn like that would no doubt kill the cow eventually from infection. I hope it's owner has the sense and deceny to put it down and dispose of the carcus instead of feeding it to other cows or selling it to cheap supermarkets.

I've got a couple of entries coming up in the next week or so which are actually informative - Blackberry Bold disassembly/reassembley tutorial and a Feature on hot new Band "Duke" so forgive my tangents. lol.

- Mr. Devo

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