Thursday, 26 February 2009

Push - Quite possibley THEE worst film I have not paid to see in the cinema!!!

With all the millions that are spent on "Mainstream" Films these days it's hard to imagine how or why anyone would allow a film studio to put out a complete and utter TURKEY. But Summit Entertainment have really pushed (excuse the pun) the barrel out on this one.


Push (2009) is awful from start to finish;
let me tell you how and why.


The synopsis
In a world where people have "powers/abilities" an organisation called "The Division" has set out to round up these special individuals to test a drug that boosts their powers, so that they can create an army. Sound familiar?

Push


and erm....Heroes


As a fan of Heroes, I was horrified when I heard about this film, of course the idea isn’t "original" as most ideas are rarely ever entirely original. But this film is the equivalent of somebody making a film version of Family Guy and calling it "At Home Man". It's EXACTLY the same, it doesn't even attempt to develop the concept of Heroes; it simply flaps about performing a cheap, loosely choreographed imitation routine. I was almost embarrassed for the Film Producers and Actors as I sat through it; some of which have seen MUCH better days; Djimon Hounsou in Blood Diamond, Chris Evans in Fantastic Four and Summit Entertainment (The Producers) who recently also made the surprising hilarious and touching "Sex Drive".
To save your curiosity I will tell you the entire story (below) so if you decide to read it, you will at least have only wasted 5 minutes of your life and not 111.

>>Push Storyline - Spoiler alert<<

The film opens with some guy running away with his son from some Agency, known only as "The Division" in the film. They run into a motel room and the man tells his son that one day he will meet some girl who will give him a flower and warns him that he must help her to "help us all" (No, Im not making this crap up) and then "Moves" his son out of the room as "The Division" close in on him. He makes a final stand - and dies - as his son on watches from another room. Fast forward in the boy's timeline - The boy is now a man and has repatriated to China, where he is a bum and a local gambler. He tries to use his "Mover" power to cheat but isn't good enough to do it effectively so he ends up owing a lot of money.
Enter "The Division"....
....Oh f*ck this!

I seriously can't re-live this crap in my mind again, not even for my beloved blog.lol.

What you need to know:
Movers - Have the power to move things with their hands
Pushers - Can Push thoughts into your head.
Watchers - Can see the future and people's intentions
Sniffers - Can smell any object and see it's recent history and track it down wherever it is.
Shadows - Have the power to Black/Mask the abilities of Watchers and Sniffers, provided they are within 20 ft. of the person/object being Watched/Sniffed
Stitches - Can heal or damage the body by touching it.

The main characters Cassie and Nick (played by Dakota Fanning and Chris Evans, epitomise the ridiculous nature of this film.
Cassie is a 13 year old "Watcher", with alcoholic tendencies and Nick is a "Mover" who can apparently stop bullets with his hands but somehow manages to spend much of the movie getting pummelled with fists like a punch bag.

It's truly pathetic.Oh and there's a "plot twist"

>>Push Storyline - Spoiler alert<<

The hero's love interest - "Pusher" Kira (played by Camille Belle) who escaped the clutches of "The Division" whilst being tested with the ability boosting drug - is supposedly a Division agent who agreed to take part in the drug trial but forgot and panicked because of the drug's side-effects (another of the side-effects being death) but in a surprising "double-twist" that belief was apparently "Pushed" into her head by Head Division agent Henry Carver played by Djimon Hounsou.

A revelation which only comes to light at the film's conclusion when Kira opens a letter Nick had given her earlier in the film with the instructions "Only open it when you start telling the truth!"

Sat on a plane with Henry Carver (who's conveniently sleeping) after watching Nick fake his death by injecting soy sauce into his arm (I'm REALLY not making this up) - she found enclosed a picture of her and Nick years previously on their first date - proof that Carver had manipulated her. She then follows Nick's instructions contained in the letter "Kill him" so she "Pushes" suicidal thoughts into Carver's head (whilst he's asleep) to which he does the only natural thing; he wakes up and puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger - depressurizing the air cabin and destroying the plane, killing Kira in the process - Ok, I made that last bit up about depressurizing the cabin, but it should have happened. It would’ve been the most believable part of the film’s convoluted, contrived yet ironically under cooked "plot".

Even the actors admitted not knowing what was going at times. Camille Belle (Kira) was quoted in a recent interview saying, "I remember a few moments where we all sat down and said, 'What happens? Where are we supposed to be going now?'" is she for real? Camille then conceeded, "The plot itself is very confusing," and when referring the the ending, "We still don't understand exactly what happened." Whilst co star Djimon Hounsou (Agent Carver) charmingly stated,"You do have to surrender,at that point it's all hell for the director. You can't keep up with where you are at all times. As an actor, you become too analytical about the story."
Did he just say that he had doubts about the integrity of the film's sense but played dumb because the director was going through hell?
BWAH HA HAH AHA AHA AHAHAHA HA HAHAHA!!!!!!


What a mess! Agent, scripting and directorial head's need to be rolling.

If I haven't put you off, good luck to you, I hope you've got 111 minutes to waste. If given a second chance I wouldn't watch this on pirate or on Boxing Day in 2014; I wouldn't even watch the trailer!

My Verdict
Shudderingly abysmal.

- Mr. Devo

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1 Comments:

Blogger Mademoiselle said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

and the ending the part about putting thoughts in her head sounds a lot like old boy!

this is disgusting-Heroes is amazing-and a movie based on it should reflect this! A programme we watch for free on tv every week [well download] being better than a multimillion movie is just SHAMEFUL!!

27 February 2009 at 14:08  

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